Great article! I oftentimes find myself around this time of year longing for a "beige trench"... Yet I know I've had one in the past and not worn it. But seeing so many people style it, I can't help but notice the gap - so it's a great reminder that I've actually chosen not to purchase a beige trench because it doesn't work with my colouring, personal style and taste , and that's a choice rather than a gap to fill!
Brilliant. A gap is only worth filling if it’s meets MY needs and fits MY life, not just a theoretical gap that SEEMS like something I should have/need/want.
That’s it! It’s so straightforward in theory, once we’ve thought it through - now to stick to in practice. I’m so glad it resonated - thanks for reading!
Ha! I’m oddly relieved to hear that — I did feel slightly exposed publishing my wardrobe brain spiral. Good to know I’m in good company! Curious whether yours leaves you with answers or 24823984 tabs open?!
I’m a month late but I loved this, Meg! It made me think about those minimalist capsule wardrobes we used to see everywhere a few years ago — the ones that told you you needed this and that item. There’s just no way a generic capsule wardrobe can work for every single person. Like, no, I don’t need a black blazer or a leather jacket to live my life. We all have different gaps and wardrobe needs. I’m still so guilty of trying to fill what I consider personal “gaps,” though, so it’s such a good reminder!
I was captivated by your search process! It is so interesting to read how it played out, and how it helped you to arrive at the conclusion that some gaps just don't need to be filled. I've been burned by the 'wardrobe gaps' idea before - when I believe those capsule wardobe articles that insist that everyone MUST own a black blazer. This was a great read!
Yes, so many capsule wardrobe must have lists making us feel like we were missing things we maybe never really felt we were missing! Thanks so much for your kind words.
Really loved this approach to filling a gap. I'm trying to get better at noticing the real gaps e.g. the ones I notice when getting dressing like a comfortable stylish shoe and not the imagined/influenced gaps like a pair of white jeans which would be cute but probably not that practical for me.
I think that's the key—tuning in to what's happening directly within our wardrobes and then acting on the information we gather there, rather than getting led astray by all the outside noise. It's tricky though, because some of that outside noise can also provide the greatest inspo. But I'm with you, here's to taking note of the real gaps!
Good luck with your hunt for a comfy stylish shoe - that sounds like a winner in any wardrobe!
You articulated this phantom gap-to-hyperfixation slippery slope so well. As someone with ADHD I felt this deeply.
I always think of my teenage self that bought a bright orange swimsuit because I “don’t have anything in that color” without stopping to ask myself *why* I don’t have anything in that color (answer: I hate how it looks on me! Mystery solved).
Oh such a slippery slope! I’m wish it didn’t resonate so much, because falling into a hyper fixation’s no fun!!!But I’m so pleased that my post put words to something others have experienced too.
With time/space, so many of these phantom gap fillers eventually look so out of place in our wardrobes, because they don’t actually align with our personal style.
Are you spying on me?! I felt this so hard, and glad I’m not alone. I guess our brains are wired towards completion - it’s crazy how a store newsletter can send us off on a hypothetical hunt. Your advice to log actual ”I wish I had…” while getting dressed is great!
Meg, I loved this! I am SO quick to fall into the see gap-fill gap trap without thoughtfully questioning of this gap SHOULD be left there. As you mentioned, I know the gaps that I don't want to fill (no dresses or skirts needed for me, thank you) but I often will be derailed by the phantom gaps if I see a person wearing something that I viscerally *want* and justify with the wardrobe gap concept.
Thank you Kelly, really appreciate your generous feedback!! Looks like I’m in good company with the see gap fill gap instinct! Definitely guilty of seeing other women rocking items and **wanting very much to partake** . At least we recognise the issue, right?!
Great text, loving the comparison to whitespace in architecture. I have a lot of "filling gaps" in my wardrobe, most of them still with tags on 😏 Now I'm adopting a policy of postponing the "pay now" button. I usually empty my cart after a few hours.
Thanks Pola. That’s the thing right, they can seem like such logical, thoughtful purchases and then they’re sitting there haunting us with their tags on!?
Just playing the wait/postpone game helps so much within supporting more intentional, less hype-filled shopping decisions.
Great article! I oftentimes find myself around this time of year longing for a "beige trench"... Yet I know I've had one in the past and not worn it. But seeing so many people style it, I can't help but notice the gap - so it's a great reminder that I've actually chosen not to purchase a beige trench because it doesn't work with my colouring, personal style and taste , and that's a choice rather than a gap to fill!
Thank you, I’m so glad it resonated. You and me both with the trench gap!!
Trenches, loafers, ballet flats…just so many pieces/categories that are such must-have closet staples for some, but unwanted or neverworns for others.
It’s such a helpful shift to feel confident with the gaps we choose to have.
Brilliant. A gap is only worth filling if it’s meets MY needs and fits MY life, not just a theoretical gap that SEEMS like something I should have/need/want.
That’s it! It’s so straightforward in theory, once we’ve thought it through - now to stick to in practice. I’m so glad it resonated - thanks for reading!
Lord, the process you went through is my brain at 1am at least once a week! Never seen it written out before! xx
Ha! I’m oddly relieved to hear that — I did feel slightly exposed publishing my wardrobe brain spiral. Good to know I’m in good company! Curious whether yours leaves you with answers or 24823984 tabs open?!
I’m a month late but I loved this, Meg! It made me think about those minimalist capsule wardrobes we used to see everywhere a few years ago — the ones that told you you needed this and that item. There’s just no way a generic capsule wardrobe can work for every single person. Like, no, I don’t need a black blazer or a leather jacket to live my life. We all have different gaps and wardrobe needs. I’m still so guilty of trying to fill what I consider personal “gaps,” though, so it’s such a good reminder!
I was captivated by your search process! It is so interesting to read how it played out, and how it helped you to arrive at the conclusion that some gaps just don't need to be filled. I've been burned by the 'wardrobe gaps' idea before - when I believe those capsule wardobe articles that insist that everyone MUST own a black blazer. This was a great read!
Yes, so many capsule wardrobe must have lists making us feel like we were missing things we maybe never really felt we were missing! Thanks so much for your kind words.
Really loved this approach to filling a gap. I'm trying to get better at noticing the real gaps e.g. the ones I notice when getting dressing like a comfortable stylish shoe and not the imagined/influenced gaps like a pair of white jeans which would be cute but probably not that practical for me.
I'm so pleased, thanks Sigrid!
I think that's the key—tuning in to what's happening directly within our wardrobes and then acting on the information we gather there, rather than getting led astray by all the outside noise. It's tricky though, because some of that outside noise can also provide the greatest inspo. But I'm with you, here's to taking note of the real gaps!
Good luck with your hunt for a comfy stylish shoe - that sounds like a winner in any wardrobe!
You articulated this phantom gap-to-hyperfixation slippery slope so well. As someone with ADHD I felt this deeply.
I always think of my teenage self that bought a bright orange swimsuit because I “don’t have anything in that color” without stopping to ask myself *why* I don’t have anything in that color (answer: I hate how it looks on me! Mystery solved).
Oh such a slippery slope! I’m wish it didn’t resonate so much, because falling into a hyper fixation’s no fun!!!But I’m so pleased that my post put words to something others have experienced too.
With time/space, so many of these phantom gap fillers eventually look so out of place in our wardrobes, because they don’t actually align with our personal style.
Thanks for your kind words
I cosign this!!!!
Haha! Thank you :)
Are you spying on me?! I felt this so hard, and glad I’m not alone. I guess our brains are wired towards completion - it’s crazy how a store newsletter can send us off on a hypothetical hunt. Your advice to log actual ”I wish I had…” while getting dressed is great!
Commiserations! 😉😂 - definitely wired for dopamine too! More seriously, I’m so glad it resonated.
Meg, I loved this! I am SO quick to fall into the see gap-fill gap trap without thoughtfully questioning of this gap SHOULD be left there. As you mentioned, I know the gaps that I don't want to fill (no dresses or skirts needed for me, thank you) but I often will be derailed by the phantom gaps if I see a person wearing something that I viscerally *want* and justify with the wardrobe gap concept.
Thank you Kelly, really appreciate your generous feedback!! Looks like I’m in good company with the see gap fill gap instinct! Definitely guilty of seeing other women rocking items and **wanting very much to partake** . At least we recognise the issue, right?!
It’s a step in the right direction!!
Great text, loving the comparison to whitespace in architecture. I have a lot of "filling gaps" in my wardrobe, most of them still with tags on 😏 Now I'm adopting a policy of postponing the "pay now" button. I usually empty my cart after a few hours.
Thanks Pola. That’s the thing right, they can seem like such logical, thoughtful purchases and then they’re sitting there haunting us with their tags on!?
Just playing the wait/postpone game helps so much within supporting more intentional, less hype-filled shopping decisions.